The moment when a girl becomes a woman, defloration - meaning when she loses her virginity, has an important meaning for each and every woman. For men it is a mysterious process of which most of them know nothing or very little. But women know a lot and usually want to know even more.
First sexual intercourse is thought to be a moment when a girl transforms to a woman. This is one of defining moments in each woman’s life. And of course it is important for it to happen properly, to be a positive experience rather than a painful one.
For every girl it goes her own way. It is painful for some, and easy for others. Sometimes there is blood, sometimes there’s no. Usually it happens with a more experienced man, but most men are little help and support when it comes to defloration. So, it is important for a girl to be ready, to have enough knowledge about this event in her life, to experience it easily and happily.
What age is best to lose virginity at?
There is a certain preferred period for it to happen, which is between 17 and 20 years. But it is not that strict, do not perceive it as a goal or call to action. It depends on a certain situation. If you are over 20 and still a virgin, do not consider yourself a loser or a spinster. It happens at your own unique moment.
There are some geographical, cultural, religious differences between women of the world, and those differences also influence the preferred time to have first sexual contact. Women from Asia, Africa, some countries of Western Europe, are known to mature earlier than others, so their preferred age range would differ.
Keep in mind that losing virginity is not just a physical act. It is a serious issue of responsibility, to yourself, your partner/husband, your family, your parents and future children. So please be wise when considering this step. Choose your partner depending on how serious your relationship is.
Why is it dangerous for it to happen to early?
A woman of age under 17 years is still a girl. She is physically immature. And of course psychologically she is not yet ready to become a woman. Potentially, what is defloration? First of all, it is a chance for pregnancy, usually unwanted one. And a girl aged under 17 is most likely not ready to become a mother. This brings us to a possible abortion, which is a really bad thing to happen to you at 17 years old. It affects all your following life, physically and mentally.
It is really important for mothers to talk to their daughters about their roles of a woman and all the serious issues it involves. Mother is a best friend to any girl. So she should pass this essential knowledge, preparing her daughter to everything that is to happen someday.
As to painful feelings at the moment of defloration, they usually indicate that a girl isn’t properly prepared for sexual intercourse. And this involves several aspects, and knowledge is one of them. Knowing what is going to happen and how to ease this moment is a guarantee of a pleasant experience.
First intercourse, involving defloration, should happen in an atmosphere of total trust, love and understanding. When there is lack of understanding between partners, when they are still shy, in a hurry, do not have mental contact between them – this process can be awkward, painful, stressful and leave an inerasable mark in each partner’s memory. There is one easy idea to remember - first souls unite, then bodies.
In physical aspect, a man should be very caring and careful, attentive to his woman and he must understand that he can hurt her. If this happens, vaginal muscle will cramp, making it impossible to pleasantly continue the intercourse.
It is essential to spend enough time sexually stimulating the woman before starting coitus, by a long pre-game with caress, kisses etc. This guarantees vaginal secretion, necessary to provide comfortable intercourse. If secretion is very little or none, this means the woman is not yet ready. Forcing coitus at this moment can be really painful, or even dangerous.
Why is there blood?
Process of defloration is, simply saying, a process of damaging a special membrane in woman’s vagina, accompanied with some bleeding.
In past centuries it was very important for a husband to see blood on the sheets after first night with his young wife. Blood stains were the evidence of woman’s virginity and innocence. If there was no blood, a big scandal could happen, involving woman herself and also her parents for not being good enough to keep their daughter innocent.
But at those times people did not know that a certain percent of women does not have virginal membrane, or it is too little and thin to produce any blood.
Nowadays it is possible to define presence and state of virginal membrane during gynecological examination. Be sure to inform the doctor about girl’s virginity.
Are there any ways to damage the membrane without sexual contact?
There is a possibility to lose physical virginity without any sexual intercourse. Some types of injuries and traumas can destroy vaginal membrane. So, if there was an accident where the woman was injured in that certain area, she can lose virginity.
Also some girls are curious enough to start examining their body and accidentally damage the membrane with hands or some objects.
Neglectful medical examination can also be a reason of virginal membrane damage.
It is the task of a mother to be attentive to her daughter’s behavior and knowledge to ensure preservation of virginity.
source: ask.naij
